I hate sports. Watching them, that is! I love being have unconscious from my tryptophan-laced turkey binge on Thanksgiving, braving the chilly mountain air and laying down some leather in a family football game running from driveway to driveway. what i cant do is the "insert hand into pants, ooze onto the couch and scream at an inanimate object (i.e. my t.v.). why am i excited about a game involving a team i didnt bet on/have a stake in from a town i have only been to once (and was likely so drunk i cant recall much of the city except how clean their barroom toilets are)? i cheer for my school because that is where i am (Go Vols, you sorry bastards! Go!). that doesnt make me a fan. why should i care about who gets drafted onto what team and then makes more in a month than i will EVER make in a year? i was raised by a woman and that is likely why i just dont get it. someone be my daddy and explain it to me. Especially baseball. what the hell? if that "sport" got any slower it would be on C-SPAN. they need a shot clock! so whats the deal peeps? my mom skipped that lesson, but boy can i cook!
i will admit that i do watch boxing, but thats a whole different world. it could last 19 seconds (Tyson v. Spinks) or it could go the distance...but at least i know how long that will be from the outset. double overtime my ass. maybe thats it, maybe its ADHD.
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