Sunday, August 28, 2005

Things I Have Learned So Far In Law School

1. the more you skip a class, the less likely you are to get called on that day.
2. never let a pansy hold you up in a keg stand.
3. Ramen noodles are worse for you than most alcoholic beverages.
4. professors ask many of those questions because they truly don't know the answers.
5. being 1/3rd a lawyer can get you laid.
6. "in the interest of equity, speed and justice" is the answer to all Civ Pro questions.
7. "clerk" is Latin for bitch.
8. real memos are never more than 7 sentences long. otherwise you have to read it to your boss.
9. after the fourth Irish Car Bomb, all of tomorrow's classes are cancelled.
10. you realize you are a fucked up nerd who can never be cool again when you find any of this funny.

Que?


What the figgity fuck is this all about?This is what happens when NAFTA gets out of hand. Nobody was manning the port authority office when this shipment of chihuahuas rolled in.

Funny

I never thought I'd say this, but apparently Law Review editors can be pretty effing funny. Check it!http://wingsandvodka.blogs.com/blog/MockTrialTransferMotion.pdf

Immortality


Today, as I was out shopping for groceries, I realized that it is entirely possible that I could leave this world one day without having every really made an impact on anyone other that those in my immediate circle of friends. I want someone else in this life to know who I am and to have my name etched on their soul, to be a driving force for a great change in a random individual's life. At that moment, I saw an unattended child crying in the aisle I was strolling by. the kid couldn't have been more than 10 or 11 years old. leaving my cart at the end of the row, I approached the weeping lad and stopped right beside him. Immediately, the boy ceased his crying and looked up at me with his big soulful eyes that had seen little of the hardships of the world. the bot managed a smile just as I placed a well-aimed kick to his midsection. as I rained down a torrent of kicks and stomps on his young, fragile frame, I repeated over and over again "My name is Willie". at last I had done it, I had given my life purpose. This boy will carry my name with him his entire life. he will use it as either a motivating factor to become stronger or as material around which to structure his nightmares. i figure that 11 is old enough to ensure that the events of that fateful day in Kroger will not be muddled by childish exaggeration and just young enough to avoid any puberty induced ADHD that might allow him to "move on" without some intensive therapy. At last...I am immortal!

Movie Review In 10 Words or Less

RedEye
Predictable fun. Starts well. Ends Flat. Rent it.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Movie Review In 10 Words or Less

the 40 Year Old Virgin
Funny! WeddingCrashers and American Pie had a foul-mouthed child!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Movie Review In 10 Words or Less

Crash
Harsh. Extreme. Well acted. Surprising. Not for "PC" people.

Movie Reviw In 10 Words or Less

Sky High
Good, clean family fun. John Hughes meets the Superfriends