Things I Have Learned So Far In Law School

1. the more you skip a class, the less likely you are to get called on that day.
2. never let a pansy hold you up in a keg stand.
3. Ramen noodles are worse for you than most alcoholic beverages.
4. professors ask many of those questions because they truly don't know the answers.
5. being 1/3rd a lawyer can get you laid.
6. "in the interest of equity, speed and justice" is the answer to all Civ Pro questions.
7. "clerk" is Latin for bitch.
8. real memos are never more than 7 sentences long. otherwise you have to read it to your boss.
9. after the fourth Irish Car Bomb, all of tomorrow's classes are cancelled.
10. you realize you are a fucked up nerd who can never be cool again when you find any of this funny.