As many of you know, I recently announced my acceptance of my Party's nomination for the position of God. It is an honor to be chosen and I will do everything possible to live up to their expectations! First off, I'd like to say that this campaign is not about smearing the work already done by my opponent. Since Time began, he (pardon me, He) has held it all together. But here on Earth, it is time for a change. Initially, it sounded like a good idea to make Godhood a lifetime position, but who has the nerve to, on Day One, to use His power to then make Himself immortal? My opponent has that nerve! I will not pretend that I do not make mistakes, but I have the courage to admit when I am wrong. I do not pawn them off as "Mysterious Ways"! Nipples on men! Mosquitos! Tornados! Useless things, unless He has something against trailer parks. There you will see plenty of all three!
Well I promise that when I am God, we will have referendums weekly! You like skeeters, man-boobs and twisters? Then the trailer parks are out!
To Be Continued!
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