Sliding Doors

Life last week(LLW) vs. Life this week(LTW).
LLW: 6:45 am- roll out of bed, realize that I have a Gratuitous Transfers exam in two hours, fifteen minutes. Kick myself for rolling out of bed so slowly. I will need that study time later.

LTW: 6:45 am...

LLW: 7:00 am- showering, showering, trying to remember if that crappy acronym for ascertainable standards his HEWS or if that W is actually an M for 'maintenance' because I could swear she told us both.

LTW: 7:00 am...

LLW: 7:10 am... driving, driving. Watch it Asshole! Does the 3 year rule apply to life insurance and is it the premium, the proceeds or the cash surrender value? Fuck! Why doesn't my 1991 Honda Civic come standard with wireless internet?

LTW: 7:10 am...

LLW: 7:30 am Aha! Cash surrender value!!!

LTW: 7:30 am...

LLW: 8:00 am crusty bagel, diet Lipton green tea and Red Bull cocktail? Check. pen, pencil, extra pen and backup leads? Check. 10 pound statute book? Check. super duper secret numbers handed down from the gods themselves? Check. Calculator? Check. Canteen, box of matches, catheter, flash light, colostomy bag, road flares, whip, cool hat? Check.

LTW: 8:00 am...

LLW 8:45 am confidence is the word of the day. I know every statute verbatim. this is all statutes and math. numbers numbers numbers. no policy questions she said. numbers numbers.
LTW 8:45am ...

LLW: 9:00 am Okay. here we go. question one. "Explain the statement 'the United States has a unified taxation regime for inter vivos transfers and bequeaths'"..umm..."Excuse me. Where are the numbers?"

LTW: 9:00am opened left eye. saw the cat. didnt care. not fully self-aware? excellent. back to sl....

LLW: 11:00 who gives a shit about this dead asshole and his moron brother who is also trustee which is never a good idea when he should have just left it all to his wife a gave her all the General Powers of Appointment with no incidents of ownership? Fucking 'tards! I'm glad you're dead!

LTW: 11:00am fire up the DVR. watch the Biggest Loser and all the Losts I missed. ate cereal and a hamburger.

LLW: 12:01 pm vomit
LTW 12:01 pm ...

LLW 2:00pm must...pack in...more...alcohol!!! must..forget...2036(a)(2)(B)

LTW 2:00pm must...pack in...more...alcohol!!! i KNOW i was supposed to remember something... ah well