Life last week(LLW) vs. Life this week(LTW).
LLW: 6:45 am- roll out of bed, realize that I have a Gratuitous Transfers exam in two hours, fifteen minutes. Kick myself for rolling out of bed so slowly. I will need that study time later.
LTW: 6:45 am...
LLW: 7:00 am- showering, showering, trying to remember if that crappy acronym for ascertainable standards his HEWS or if that W is actually an M for 'maintenance' because I could swear she told us both.
LTW: 7:00 am...
LLW: 7:10 am... driving, driving. Watch it Asshole! Does the 3 year rule apply to life insurance and is it the premium, the proceeds or the cash surrender value? Fuck! Why doesn't my 1991 Honda Civic come standard with wireless internet?
LTW: 7:10 am...
LLW: 7:30 am Aha! Cash surrender value!!!
LTW: 7:30 am...
LLW: 8:00 am crusty bagel, diet Lipton green tea and Red Bull cocktail? Check. pen, pencil, extra pen and backup leads? Check. 10 pound statute book? Check. super duper secret numbers handed down from the gods themselves? Check. Calculator? Check. Canteen, box of matches, catheter, flash light, colostomy bag, road flares, whip, cool hat? Check.
LTW: 8:00 am...
LLW 8:45 am confidence is the word of the day. I know every statute verbatim. this is all statutes and math. numbers numbers numbers. no policy questions she said. numbers numbers.
LTW 8:45am ...
LLW: 9:00 am Okay. here we go. question one. "Explain the statement 'the United States has a unified taxation regime for inter vivos transfers and bequeaths'"..umm..."Excuse me. Where are the numbers?"
LTW: 9:00am opened left eye. saw the cat. didnt care. not fully self-aware? excellent. back to sl....
LLW: 11:00 who gives a shit about this dead asshole and his moron brother who is also trustee which is never a good idea when he should have just left it all to his wife a gave her all the General Powers of Appointment with no incidents of ownership? Fucking 'tards! I'm glad you're dead!
LTW: 11:00am fire up the DVR. watch the Biggest Loser and all the Losts I missed. ate cereal and a hamburger.
LLW: 12:01 pm vomit
LTW 12:01 pm ...
LLW 2:00pm must...pack in...more...alcohol!!! must..forget...2036(a)(2)(B)
LTW 2:00pm must...pack in...more...alcohol!!! i KNOW i was supposed to remember something... ah well
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Friday, December 02, 2005
A "Queery" for My One Faithful Reader
What's the matter with gay marriage? How does it bring about Armageddon or Ragnarok or the End of Days or a spin-off to that Gena Davis-Is-President show? Whatever you want to call the end of the world? Seriously, anyone can chime in. I really want to know.
Caveat: no vague answers involving the sanctity of marriage. just some vagary, please
Since no one is listening...A List
of all the reasons that I hate the winter.
1. its cold. i try not to take it personally but it feels like my balls are under constant attack.
2. its dark. i just got out of a study session early and i'm thinking "sweet. its 5 o'clock. i can go out and enjoy the rest of the day." its pitch black.
3. the frozen homeless really cramp my style. either they freeze to the bottom of your car where they crawled for heat and it takes like 3 hours with a scrapper to get them off or they freeze, fall over and break leaving big red indigent chunks at every other intersection.
4. i hate parades. and why are they all now? see#1
5. i get fat. i think my father was a grizzly. though i am fairly bereft of body hair, this time of year seems to pack on the pounds. its likely because this weather inspires people to bake, for some reason. Ah, pies! too cold to run (see #1) and too dark to get up and drive to the gym (see#2).
6. TV blows. 4 months past Sweeps Week and 4 months from Season Finales. all my shows are on cruise control doing the speed limit on the interstate. Yawn.
7. it just killed Mr. Miyagi!!! a moment of silence for Pat Morita...
8.
9. its ugly. nature, like my gonads, seems to beat a hasty retreat into Mexico. the whole country looks like a Felini film.
10. Movies are kinda gay. (not that there's anything wrong with that). nothing hard hitting ocmes out when its winter. its all happy kids and magical lions. no one is in a good enough mood to see some ass-stomping, popcorn-swilling brainlessness. why? see#1,9 and especially 3.
1. its cold. i try not to take it personally but it feels like my balls are under constant attack.
2. its dark. i just got out of a study session early and i'm thinking "sweet. its 5 o'clock. i can go out and enjoy the rest of the day." its pitch black.
3. the frozen homeless really cramp my style. either they freeze to the bottom of your car where they crawled for heat and it takes like 3 hours with a scrapper to get them off or they freeze, fall over and break leaving big red indigent chunks at every other intersection.
4. i hate parades. and why are they all now? see#1
5. i get fat. i think my father was a grizzly. though i am fairly bereft of body hair, this time of year seems to pack on the pounds. its likely because this weather inspires people to bake, for some reason. Ah, pies! too cold to run (see #1) and too dark to get up and drive to the gym (see#2).
6. TV blows. 4 months past Sweeps Week and 4 months from Season Finales. all my shows are on cruise control doing the speed limit on the interstate. Yawn.
7. it just killed Mr. Miyagi!!! a moment of silence for Pat Morita...
8.
9. its ugly. nature, like my gonads, seems to beat a hasty retreat into Mexico. the whole country looks like a Felini film.
10. Movies are kinda gay. (not that there's anything wrong with that). nothing hard hitting ocmes out when its winter. its all happy kids and magical lions. no one is in a good enough mood to see some ass-stomping, popcorn-swilling brainlessness. why? see#1,9 and especially 3.
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