The Middle Ages

I'm turning thirty-five this year and I have to examine my place in the scheme of things. I think I have a better grasp on it than I did a year ago.
35 means...
I'm not too old to go out and get wasted.
I am too old to think I can get up and go to work the next morning. Or do it more than once a month,

I'm not too old to play video games.
I am too old to be really good at them

Im not too old to take up a new hobby like bike riding or the guitar.
Im too old to ever be a virtuoso.

Im too young to own a Porsche, but too old to drive one like it should be driven (and where do i put the car seat?)

I'm too young to lose my hair, but not too old to consider maybe some dye here and there.
(can you dye balls? heh, images of Easter)

Well I dont fear getting older. Hell I cant WAIT for my mid-life crisis. Then I can pay back all the women around me for decades of PMS.