BrainStorm

Okay
My firm is suing a local law enforcement agency which shall remain nameless. Both sides are peopled by the finest legal procrastinators in the business. As a result, we slept on the depo deadlines and had to motion for a new schedule. Problem is, Judge FuckForBrains ShitWeasel III denied it. Said it would make things to difficult. So his solution is to have us do a trial with no depositions. Nice job, Douche.
SOOO whats the answer? Well I have come up with a few solutions to this quandary. Tell me what my chances are.
1. Non-suit and try again later. Upside: We may get more time to depo. Downside: since this is a government agency in federal court, we may lose our shot.
2. Kill the Judge the day before the trial. Upside: they have to assign a new Judge that is familiar with the case and that takes weeks and a possible mistrial w/o prejudice. Or something. Downside: Some judges pack heat! I think that's what kill Steve Irwin.
3. Move for a continuance. Up: If granted, we'll get tons more time. Down: NoGood Marshall could veto another one.
4. Go Balls Out and Argue It Anyway!!! Up: there's nothing cooler than just winging a federal fucking trial! Down: no doubt, we WILL lose. in a Dynamic manner not seen since Grenada.
I think our best option is to:
1.drink all night before the trial, then
2. watch My Cousin Vinny at least 3 times that night, and
3. show up in Court and argue the wrong case the whole time! Refuse to ask any of the right question. Cross exam the cops on what the standard of care at their hospital is for treating a spastic colon or where they were on the night of February 30, 2008.
And when the Judge declares us in contempt we will either point at the opposing counsel and shout "Yeah! Take that!!" or scream "We have nothing BUT contempt for this court!!!"
I can't wait.




maritime