Resolutions

1. To not be photographed exiting a vehilce visibly not wearing panties.

2. To start no new wars.

3. To execute twice as many dictators as '06.

4. To lose weight. And since muscles weigh twice as much as fat, I think I can reach my goal fastest by losing as much muscle as I can.

5. To take up smoking, since everyone in my office smokes and I am likely dying from second hand smoking cancer, but never got the benefit of the nic buzz.

6. Get detained for contempt of court at least once.

7. Refer to at least one of my opposing counsel as "fuck-nut" during an in-court proceeding.

8. Get to work on developing a Class A Lawyer Liver.

9. Sue God.

10. Be good to my family.