A Rose By Any Other Name...

What am I? I just graduated law school a few days ago. I left my cellphone at a party at school and had to call the Dean's Office to find it. When I gave my name to the secretary, she said "Oh, is this our student of the same name?" At which time I informed her that I am nobody's fucking student. Okay, that's when I started thinking. What am I right now? I am not a student. I am not an attorney until I pass the Bar, right? Since I plan to be a sole practitioner, I am technically unemployed. Though I have a Juris Doctorate, everyone tells me I am not a doctor. I know I can't successfully separate conjoined twins or nothin', but then again, neither can Dr. Scholls, Dr. Phil or Dr. J. So what can I call myself? At the eye doctor, the form asked me what I do...and I was stumped. So someone tell me who I am. Please. I just paid 60 grand just so I can be confused. If I had known that was the result, I would have invested in 6000 dime bags.