Oh General Tso, General Tso,
What great wars did you fight?
What crimson fields of battle
Inspired your perfect sauce?
What cowardice, your choice
Of chicken?
No man is greater
Than he who can take up the sword
And the spatula.
Did you look out upon roiling conflicts
And see the steaming wok?
Red sauce, tender chicken, sizzling oil
Red blood, tough men, the heat of battle.
Coincidence?
Did they taunt you
In the officers tent?
History knows not their names.
Vindication!
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11 comments:
brilliant! i'm laughing hysterically.
I had no idea. You're so multi-dimensional. More so than my highlights, even.
Heretofore, I shall call you "Kerouac". Or maybe just Longfellow. Because it's easier to spell.
Heretofore means up to the present, before this, previously. Which means you're use of it, and you're reference to highlights, makes you in all liklihood a bleach blond bimbo with the grammar skills of a Norwegian Weaselhound. And neither Kerouac or Longfellow were known as being "multidimensional" poets. But then you probably don't read either.
Is a Norwegian Weaselhound really a bred of dog or is it just used to "highlight" (heheheheh)the inability of the previous post author to use the English language correctly?
Ahhh! The attack of the dreaded Grammar Nazis. Spiken zee grammar, commissar? Of course, using the word "heretofore" incorrectly isn't really a grammatical error.
Dearest Anonymous Number One,
Best wishes on finding something more worthwhile than my haircolor to get anal retentive and angry about.
Forthwith, suck it.
Regards,
Stacie
In addition, Anonymous #1, the proper use of "neither" is combined with "nor", not "or". "Or" should only be used with "either".
Just a suggestion for anonymous #1: Maybe your time would be better spent counting the calories in water, than in correcting the word usage of internet blog commenters.
"Which means you're use of it, and you're reference to highlights, makes you in all liklihood a bleach blond bimbo with the grammar skills of a Norwegian Weaselhound."
Only one person frequenting this blog corrects grammar, style, and general use of the English language. That person is not you, biatch. Let me provide a few example as to why that person is not you.
You're using "you're" incorrectly in the above quote. I would also suggest using a more standard spelling of "liklihood;" maybe something like "likelihood."
As for your rip on Ozy, f#ck you and the Norwegian Weaslehound you rode in on.
Love,
The Dude
My apologies, I see that you were ripping on Stacie, not Ozy. However, I maintain my suggestion that you f#ck your Norwegian Weaslehound.
-The Dude
"And neither Kerouac or Longfellow were known as being "multidimensional" poets. But then you probably don't read either."
Longfellow! What the hell do you know about "Longfellow"...shorty! (Or so the rumor has it!)
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