SPOILER ALERT!

This post contains several spoilers for the DaVinci Code. Stop here if you haven't read it and if you actually give a shit how it turns out.
Now, to all the rest of you, whats the big effing deal. I read the book and I have some opinions going both ways.
In favor of the book, I have to say that the subject matter was fascinating. It was an original concept, at least to me, and I read the book all the way through because I had to know what the Grail was. I did my own research into the idea of Christ being married and the whole Knights Templar. I can see how the theory was built from the history, but I still was blown away by the concepts he created, considering the truth. Anyone who will concede the existence of Jesus but not his divinity would find this story so plausible that I can see how one would get caught up in the book and love it.
Here's the problem, the guy can't write. The entire book is so badly written it was distracting me from page 2 until the last chapter. Dialogue was flimsy and the descriptions of the scenery were so bland that I didn't know what he was trying to describe. Also, in my research I found what Ithough I already knew: albinos can't see. Almost all are legally blind. Cant shoot moving targets in the dark when you cant see your feet. Dumb. The characters had no character. The typical hero/nerd combo that Dan Brown had the balls to describe as an Indiana Jones type. No shit. The super hot scientist-lady? Like that happens. THe stupid cryptograph puzzles she played as a child? Yawn. What a lame setup. Saw that coming from a mile away.
Its almost like...gasp...he was writing this to be one day made into a movie. Ya think?
Once I figured out the girl was the Grail I really checked out. I actually never read the last couple of pages cuz what do I care if the hero/nerd and the hot heroine/nerd got together to make hero/Jesus-spawn?
I cant wait for his next book about a supermodel/doctor who discovers that all Popes are really girls.
Of course, I am still going to see the movie. After all, isn't that all it was? A descent screenplay? Plus I love Tom Hanks and Ron Howard.
I hate you Dan Brown. If that is your real name!